Friday, June 27, 2008

Fools are Tired

It's been a long week...



Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Monday, June 23, 2008

I'm a Creep




Sorry to all of my neighbors for waking you up early Saturday morning. When I returned home at midnight, I found my roommate and a friend playing Rock Band. I couldn't help but hop on the mic and belt out all of the notes to Radiohead's Creep (98%, wudup?!!!). Did I mention I was rockin' the guitar at the same time? Ya that's right, fuck you for thinking I'm a dork. I fucking rock bitch! Fuck off!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

U.S. Opants

Here is to all the fabulous pants at the U.S. Open this past weekend.
















Thursday, June 12, 2008

Short Stories



No Pants

She looks down at the sidewalk and watches the cracks pass underneath her feet. A strong breeze lifts her golden hair like a sail in the marina. No need for squinting this afternoon as she heads east down the boulevard away from the setting sun. Sweat slides between her shoulder blades, making the small hairs on her open back glisten in the sunlight.

The door on her left is wide open, almost inviting the young lady inside. This place seems as good as any.

She walks in. No more cracks under her feet. No, not anymore. Just a cold wood floor. This building could be anything. Her pupils widen. Still no need for squinting. Natural afternoon light trickles in through the large windows, fading deep into the dark loft. Three gentlemen, each with beers in their hand, sit at their desks. The silence is broken.

With nothing on the office walls, the words bounce off of the hard surfaces. They eventually land inside her cochlea. "Can we help you?"

The sweat has now reached the small of her back, the trail frozen by the cold office air. What the fuck do these guys do?

"Hello, I'm from the new day spa just down the street and I'm here to offer..." She gets interrupted. Damn, almost got through it.

"You know what, we've already had someone come in last week to offer the same thing," slurs the inebriated employee.

"Oh, okay. Sorry to waste your time. Have a good day."

She smiles and turns around. Her sweat has reached its final destination.

Favorite Pants Story












My favorite pants story has to be when Daniel Ponce [Pants] de Leon was knocked out in the first round last weekend. OG Pants looked like the worst fighter in the history of boxing. Feel free to comment with your favorite Pants story.